A vlog series called #OnTheCouchWithNerva which includes written blogs by Nerva. Check out Vlog #1, “Why Are You So Angry??”



Written Part:

My grandmother would always tell me, “Nerva, treat others the same way you want them to treat you (Luke 6:31).” For some reason I always found a ‘but’ knowing how much people or just living in this world can make one angry. Everyone gets angry sometimes. Consider Jesus (Matthew 21:12-13). The latter question is, how can I express this anger in positive ways to produce positive results? What’s the best way to release this tension, frustration, and pain? First, why are you so angry? Are you angry because you want something you can’t have right now? Are you angry because you’re not who you want to be, now you’re jealous of someone else who appears to have what you desire? Maybe your child doesn’t listen to you? Did someone say something that hurt you? Or you’re accused of being a person you aren’t or doing something you did not do? Are you tired of being pushed to the side, rejected, overlooked, or undermined? Are you angry because living in a world full of injustice and unfairness causes people to belittle you? Circumstances like these may be incredibly disappointing and painful to deal with, and may even be making you feel miserable, but have you asked yourself how much of it really matters?

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. – Proverbs 15:1

Anger manifests itself in many ways for many different reasons, but is also associated with greater side effects. What if the most painful season of your life didn’t have to dominate your life, but be a small perspective of it? Did you ever stop to think that whatever is making you angry is only temporal and subject to change? What if you could dominate your anger instead of your anger dominating your life?

A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back. – Proverbs 29:11

It is okay to get angry but it is not the best mechanism for dealing with stress; it only leads to evildoing (Psalm 37:8-9), and evildoers will be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord, they will inherit the land. It is okay to be angry but don’t let it lead to sin (Ephesians 4:26-32); Do not allow anger to lead you into avoidable fights that can get you into a lot of trouble or destroy relationships. Oftentimes, when we get angry with others or even ourselves we seek revenge – It is possible to overcome evil by doing good so don’t seek revenge (Romans 12:17-21); it will most likely bite you back anyway. Before things get hot and escalate take a timeout from the situation that’s making you angry. Problems usually aren’t solved when one or more people are angry or in rage.

Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man, or you will learn his ways and find a snare for yourself. – Proverbs 22:24-25

Get your mind off of the situation you feel you cannot control. Go exercise to get an emotional release or just think of the consequences ahead of time. Remember, the answer is not to get angry, but to take some type of constructive action; read your bible and pray. Ask God to change you and help you with your anger problem (Colossians 3:7-9). If we are truly children of God we must be led by the Spirit of God (Romans 8:14). Children of God should not have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments because they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone (Timothy 2:23-26). Is your anger portraying the fruits of the Spirit to your friends, family, colleagues, co-workers, or brothers and sisters in Christ (Galatians 5:22-23)?

“This you know, my beloved brethren but everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” – James 1:19-20


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