I figured after working a full-time job as a teacher, doing film and photography, and consistently putting out quality music that God would allow me to be doing more with the things I loved and enjoyed doing.
My love for teaching dwindled because the students had become less motivated to put forth any effort in learning. I thought that continuing to smile and encouraging them would change their attitudes but it was actually changing mine.
The frustration made me want to cuss them out and give up on the ones that didn’t care but anytime I would try to think about quitting on them, the Spirit reminded me that I was just as rebellious as them at times but God doesn’t give up on me. I knew God was with me and there was a lesson in this season for me but I didn’t want to hear it. Quite honestly, I wanted to enjoy not caring about people and just do what made me feel good. Even if that “feeling good” was temporary.”
“I sat down in my studio trying to finish up this album I was working on a ran across this beat. My thoughts that night was to create something that would show people that everyday as a believer didn’t look like what people present to you at church or out in public.
People wrestle with a bunch of thoughts that don’t always bring Glory to God. We’re not robots! I wasn’t doing it to boast in it but really to show people that I need God too. It was almost like a cry for help! How is it that I’m a slave to righteousness but I feel I’d have more freedom without this “Gospel stuff”?
I finished the first half of the song and knew by the end of the night that I had to get my brother King Allico on this track. But I struggled a bit with not bringing it “back home”. I told him that I just wanted the song to not have a solution. I really just wanted to vent.
He responded, “I love the vibe but we have to bring it home.” I talked to my wife and sat with it for a day or two then changed the words in the last hook to sound like redemption. King Allico’s verse really brought home what I was trying to say.”
Shot & directed by Bama Studio27.