How do you deal with conflict?
Dealing with conflict is very hard for me to do at times. People bring conflict in my direction and my first reaction is to defend myself. What’s more difficult is when the people you love bring it to you. I’ve realized that even though I try to defend myself, especially when I feel like I’m right, my defense becomes more of an attack.
I have learned the best way to deal with conflict or criticism and a good rule for arguing is just to be quiet. That doesn’t mean you can’t defend yourself. It means try not to do it right then. Easier said than done huh? I know, but if you use the Bible as a guide like we are supposed to, it teaches us how to ask The Holy Spirit to help us. In Luke 12:12 (NLT) it says to ask The Holy Spirit to tell you what to say.
If You’re Being Criticize Or Critiqued; What Should You Do?
When someone comes to you to criticize or critique you, whether they are right or wrong first ask God to put a Guard over your mouth like David did in Psalms 141:3-4 (NLT). By doing this God is able to do away with the aggressive backlash of erupt-able words that can blow like a volcano. Often times our responses to conflict can be harsh as we get upset or defend ourselves passionately.
Another lesson I learned about dealing with conflict or criticism is to ask myself if I’m wrong and the other person is right. I ask myself, “What did I say or what action did I make to offend the person that is bringing me the conflict?” After evaluating my actions in the situation, I try to sit back and pray before I defend myself in conflict. I ask God what He wants me to see in the situation? I know that God wants me to learn from my conflicts. He wants me to control myself when handling confrontations. I have learned that growth through my conflicts is a method of God maturing me.
Lastly, if I’ve done nothing to offend the person who brings me the conflict I forgive them. I forgive them like I want The Lord to forgive me, No ifs, and, or buts.
The joy of forgiveness verse:
“Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sins are put out of sight. Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of sin.” (Romans 4:7, 8 NLT)