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How do you deal with Conflict?

How do you deal with conflict?

Dealing with conflict is very hard for me to do at times. People bring conflict in my direction and my first reaction is to defend myself. What’s more difficult is when the people you love bring it to you. I’ve realized that even though I try to defend myself, especially when I feel like I’m right, my defense becomes more of an attack.

I have learned the best way to deal with conflict or criticism and a good rule for arguing is just to be quiet. That doesn’t mean you can’t defend yourself. It means try not to do it right then. Easier said than done huh? I know, but if you use the Bible as a guide like we are supposed to, it teaches us how to ask The Holy Spirit to help us. In Luke 12:12 (NLT) it says to ask The Holy Spirit to tell you what to say.

If You’re Being Criticize Or Critiqued; What Should You Do?

When someone comes to you to criticize or critique you, whether they are right or wrong first ask God to put a Guard over your mouth like David did in Psalms 141:3-4 (NLT). By doing this God is able to do away with the aggressive backlash of erupt-able words that can blow like a volcano. Often times our responses to conflict can be harsh as we get upset or defend ourselves passionately.

Another lesson I learned about dealing with conflict or criticism is to ask myself if I’m wrong and the other person is right. I ask myself, “What did I say or what action did I make to offend the person that is bringing me the conflict?” After evaluating my actions in the situation, I try to sit back and pray before I defend myself in conflict. I ask God what He wants me to see in the situation? I know that God wants me to learn from my conflicts. He wants me to control myself when handling confrontations. I have learned that growth through my conflicts is a method of God maturing me.

Forgive Regardless!

Lastly, if I’ve done nothing to offend the person who brings me the conflict I forgive them. I forgive them like I want The Lord to forgive me, No ifs, and, or buts.

The joy of forgiveness verse:

“Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sins are put out of sight. Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of sin.” (Romans 4:7, 8 NLT)

Originally posted 2013-10-21 10:59:41.

By |2018-03-28T12:19:24+00:00March 27th, 2018|Devotions|2 Comments

About the Author:

the Bookkeeper

Personal Mission Statement: That in order to change the culture you have to change your way of thinking. In order to change your way of thinking, you must first accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior.

Personal Values: Service Principle

Testimony Statement: “I’ve been there and back.” – D.T. Hall/Kemp

Testimony Scripture:

“But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they they too, can believe in him and receive eternal life.” 1Timothy 1:16(NLT)

Favorite Quote: “No excuse, no explanation.” – Tony Dungy

Education: John Marshall High school


  1. Ryan Aultman October 21, 2013 at 16:08 - Reply

    I know where u are coming from. I to have encountered conflicts where my mouth has made things a lot more difficult for me. But you are right some times it is better not to say nothing. Maybe that is why I’m so quiet most of the time. 😉

    • the Bookkeeper
      Bookkeeper247 October 21, 2013 at 16:42 - Reply

      Thanks for commenting Mr. Ryan. Yes you are absolutely right about our mouths. In my favorite book in the bible. James says “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires”. (James 1:19, 20 NLT)I feel like this is a key scripture for me when it comes to confrontation. Thanks for sharing and God Bless.

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